Never Correct Someone’s Spelling

You guys. I have never had such a huge backlash from some completely harmless comment in my life. Yesterday, I posted on Twitter this:

My brother’s girlfriend just said she is getting “coloneskepy sergery.”

How do you not reply to that? I wasn’t even mean either. I laughed and made a completely innocent joke and my step sister chimed in and very kindly and gently corrected her spelling. We were being helpful. If anything, we deserve a medal for not telling her how did you graduate middle school.

Now that would have been rude.

An hour later, my sister and I get this text from my mom, and this is exactly what it said:

What the hell is wrong with the 2 of you. (name here) is laying  in the hospital in pain (brothers name here) running back and forth on the bus with (her daughters name here) and the 2 of you are making fun of her. THAT IS NOT OK. She is crying and doesn’t understand why you don’t like her. Proud of yourself because I’m not. The definition of sarcasm is tearing of the flesh. Shame on both of you.

First of all, she’s getting a colonoscopy. I didn’t realize that was a fancy word for life threatening heart surgery.

I don’t know who wins the word for most dramatic reaction – his girlfriend for calling my mom and crying about it or my mom for her completely irrational and uncalled for text. I’m not sure what kind of fucked up dictionary she is using, but mine says sarcasm takes wit, and that’s another way of saying I’m smart and hilarious.

And then I replied to my mom about how she is hard on me and how “(brother) shits gold and I’m the big bad bitch of the west” – I got in trouble for that too.

Don’t ever correct someone’s spelling on Facebook. Especially when they’re in the hospital about to go in for sergery. Oh my god, not SERGERY!



21 thoughts on “Never Correct Someone’s Spelling

  1. OMG, too funny! First, I have actually had a “coloneskepy” and the procedure is actually nothin’. The prep, on the other hand, sucks the big one. So unless she has something more going on, this is no big deal. Second, I am tempted to correct people’s spelling and grammar all the time. It’s horrific out there! And it drives me bananas. Seriously, if anyone has any suggestions of how to correct people and teach people without actually offending them, I’d love to hear about it. I have an employee who reports to me and she drives me completely bonkers with her spelling errors, lack of punctuation and capitalization, and all other manner of completely appalling lack of writing skills. I’ve tried to work with her on it, but we’ve gotten nowhere. It’s an epidemic.

  2. Pingback: Updating You On a Bunch of Shit | Dogs Aren't Kids

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